attempt #10385493

at my research proposal..

i've been sitting in front of my laptop since 8.42 pm after dinner.. it's now 10.08 pm, surprise surprise! i haven't started one bit!! so what have i been doing for the past 1 hour ++????????

1. ebay (it's addictive i tell you, sung & chris!!! ur fault laaa...)
- but i'm getting a new handbag (roxy weiii) for only aud10
2. visiting blogs.. i miss u guys la, what to do? want to find out how u all are getting on.
3. blogging (why???!!!)
4. google (ok i did start a bit la.. here's what i typed in the search column)
- cox proportional Lazards ratio (can match chuen's dual chamber impedence agrinometer or something like that)
- Karplan-Meier life table
- sizing calculations and that's abt it. i stopped at clicking the search button.

aghhhh... but nevertheless, having complain abt my research proposal a LOT, now that i look back at it.. well, it IS an interesting topic, and although my research prof is well-known to be impossible but God's favour is still so evident? cos prof kinda worked out the whole frame for me.. i was just too nervous and scared and just kept nodding at whatever he said to even realize what was really going on. but it's actually all there. yeah. i just need to do my part now (which i'm obviously having some trouble doing so by being such a procrastinator).

i got my assessment today! wee.. officially on holiday until colorectal?? hahaha.. no la.. me a good girl, will still go to hospital. i'm happy with what i got.. :) considering it was upper gi. thank you Lord :) amazing grace! especially after the sad dream i got abt failing my attachment :(

here's a funny scene in outpatients clinic:

just as i enter the clinic,

mr b: ok, grab a chair and sit behind me. it's a busy day i won't have much time to teach but i'll do what i can ok?
me: sure :) *yes! no need to answer questions*
mr b: mutters something abt the patient's details/past medical history
being the deaf person i am..
me: hmm? *stands up and peer over his shoulders, thought it would be good to show some enthusiasm*
mr b: can u pls stop peeking over my shoulders??!! (in an 'angry-joking' manner)
me: oops, ok ok.. sorry.. *sits down*
mr b: nah that's ok *grins* don't worry, i won't let you miss out on anything ok?

towards the end,

mr b: it's been a long day eh? (and he still has a 6 file stack of patient notes in his hands) why don't u go get some morning tea? i'll see you tomorrow..
me: really? *leaps with joy within*
mr b: yup yup.. oh by the way.. u look good today. perfect student. white coat..
me: i've got my stethoscope *pats left pocket* and my pen torch *pats right pocket* my pen and my notebook *winks*
mr b: good girl.

hahaha.. cos he "fired" me in his angry-joking manner last wk abt all these things.

Question: if u call a male surgeon Mr.. what do you call a female surgeon? somebody PLEASE enlighten me :D

public holidays are the best days!

Ini adik Yong Ling. Inilah hakikat orang yang berjudi.
Minum begitu banyak air akibat kalah, sehingga tidak tahan
dan ingin sangat pergi tandas. Tetapi, tidak boleh. Itu
dianggap melanggar undang-undang permainan Texas Hold
Up.

Janganlah jadi seperti Yong Ling. Bertaubatlah..

Janganlah terjerumus seperti dia...

haha... eh, good advert anot? :P let me bring you back to where it alllllllllll started :)

aiyoh.. yesterday was anzac day. and it was mega fun and funny laa.. firstly, I woke up at 1145am. wah, so nice..

it's a wednesday. and it's a public holiday. what does that spell? NO consultant ward rounds.. *me and chelsie breathes a sigh of relief, phew*

so, lazed around, ate maggi (miss u too li), 38 with the girls and see ppl's photos.. then......

christine gets domesticated and starts.... BAKING!

check it out :)

before (for after go to makanclub.blogspot.com)

Then we had to prepare a dish to bring for pot bless.. for a sneak peek at my baby's culinary skills, visit makanclub's blog as well!

and these.... are sung and yongling's mystery dish. cheesy deepfried sotong balls!
although the colour gives them away, but ok la.. give chance, they tasted really good. i had my fair share. hehehe..

guess how old are these guys?!! they actually JUST bought the guns from toys'r'us -_-" even I was shot a couple of times, not spared..

we celebrated zie's birthday too. i think he's wishing hard for another gun :P

Happy Birthday ZIE!

nope it's not a space ship. it's sung's new toy. that he made everyone play!! it zaps anyone who cheats or one with the slowest reaction. the current could even travel from one person to another. SOOOO crazy!

Oh yeah.. back to the game. So the bet was, the 3 ppl with the lowest amount of chips after 4 rounds will have to drink this BIG mug of water.

like this:

it is seriously HUGE.

AND
that's not the worst part. You CAN'T go to the toilet to peeee..

-_-"

I myself drank something like 3-4 big mugs like that.. and i felt like puking. haha.. but the guys are really funny cos they all wanted to go to the toilet so badly (smaller bladder??) hehe.. then after we ended the game, me & sun raced to the toilet so the guys (esp zie and yongling) couldn't use the toilet. hahahaha!!! as for me, i only suffered the consequence when i arrived home. went to the toilet 3 times before i could sleep.

so today, if i said something weird/don't quite make sense, forgive me for i only slept for a few hours.

random statement.. I LOVE UPPER GI. I'll miss it when I move on to COLORECTAL Monday week.. *sob sob*

some pictures that i wanted to post for a long time but didn't get a chance to.

this is part of my LifeGroup :)

sung & yongling, but.. dunno what are they doing??!!

mr poser koala
seriously super poser la.. summore make noise!!

part of my LifeGroup @ Morialta falls.. this time a lot of improvement dee... GOT a puddle of water now.. refer to previous post Show and Tell
and these are my lovely LifeGroup leaders - Ernestine & Cacing :P

My 3rd Circle :D

Sung's "surprise" birthday.. but he wasn't surprised :-o

still, being the lovely people we are, celebrated his 19th birthday. (sorry la, now only put up the picture..)

my favourite picture of all.. haha, we took it randomly somemore! belated anniversary celebration. hehe.. :)

good day!

woke up in a bit of a depressive mood. then spoke to God.. and He gave me the following passages.. (as in my previous post) felt a lot better.. hee :)

then did my laundry, cleaned my room (finally!!!!). can't believe i stayed in this pig sty -_-" almost every inch of my floor is covered with paper.. phone, pens, books all over the place.. clothes strewn in the cupboard.. but last week just has been too busy that i couldn't really care less. did eMedici.. seriously, some of the answers are so vague. *sigh* good thing scored a bit better this time, cos i'm quite sure i got a big fat ZERO the last time cos my computer hanged! haha..

then.. i went jogging! (ok don't faint everyone) this is my FIRST time.. so u've gotta encourage me k? hehe.. and it's my 2nd time jogging with chris. haha.. hopefully it's not like a yearly affair. i'm actually planning to make it a weekly thing. cos.. haha.. when i was "running" today, at some 200m distance, i was hyperventilating, tachycardic, stitching all over my tummy, i felt like my heart was stuck halfway up my throat and my airways constricting until i was semi-wheezing. my stamina is soooo bad! haha.. but, but, but.. the experience was really good. i feel soooo much better. as in more 'jing san', and also i had an interesting chat with God.

encounter 1.
me: God, sometimes i get quite tired. can i just lead an ordinary life?
God: cannot.
me: but why....... *whines*
God: cos u're called to live an extra-ordinary life!
(and that happens to be paradise' line. ordinary people living extraordinary lives)

encounter 2.
me: *sees a huge tree, which canopies a very wide area*
God: see that?
me: yupyup.. it's so beautiful and inviting!
God: i'm like that tree, u can come hide under Me anytime. i'll be your shade, your shadow, your rest.
me: *remembers psalm 121 when God said i'm your shade at your right hand*
sigh.. God you're just sooo good.

and then, at night we had powergen concert. it was soo soo good! God's presence was so evident. and i sang like i've never sung before (wait, is my grammar correct? don't care la) u get what i mean right.. and at the end.. we sang this song called "You" the malaysian way.

went something like this:

It's You lah
You have made my life complete
It's You lah
Nothing else is quite the same
It's You lah
Everything within me praise Your name.

so funny la. hahaha.. and then we had teh tarik. which explains why i'm still awake at this hour cos i drank FOUR cups -_-" and after that we went to cafe kowloon for supper.. 3 big tables filled with noisy malaysian people. haha.. fun. love it! but i'm not sure abt the people around us though.. cos when we were abt to leave, we realized that.. hmm, our section of the restaurant was empty! wahaha..

ok now.. random saying of the day.

a group of people going on a ward round comes to this rather confusing crossroad in the hospital. someone takes the wrong turning although having worked there for ages. the others gesture in the opposite direction. that someone mutters "stupid hospital". haha!!! i found that so hilarious..

good SunDAY everyone :D

Psalm

I will cry out to God Most High.
To God who performs all things for me.
He shall send from heaven and save me;
He reproaches the one who would swallow me up.
God shall send forth His mercy and His truth.

Psalm 57:2-3

I will lift up my eyes to the hills-
From whence comes my help?
My help comes from the Lord,
Who made heaven and earth

He will not allow your foot to be moved;
He who keeps you will not slumber.
Behold, He who keeps Israel
Shall neither slumber nor sleep.

The Lord is your keeper;
The Lord is your shade at your right hand.
The sun shall not strike you by day,
Nor the moon by night.

The Lord shall preserve you from all evil;
He shall preserve your soul.
The Lord shall preserve your going out and your coming in
From this time forth, and even forevermore.

Psalm 121

Thank you Jesus. *sniff*

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!

blessed birthday dear mummy :)
hope you enjoy the dinner @ fullerton. sorry can't be there, but present is on the way..
thank you for love that you give so unselfishly, the sacrifices you've made.. i appreciate you!
hope this 50th year, brings greater joy, in all that you do.
Lots of love, Christine.

Isaiah 26:3-4
You will keep mummy in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on You, because she trusts in You. Trust in the Lord forever, for in Yah the Lord is everlasting strength.

*sobs*

i lost my phone..... pls pray that i'll get it bck. it may not be the best phone, but it's my NEW phone.. *sob sob*

a whole new world

i have a completely different outlook of surgery.. since, today! hmm, despite the lousy ward rounds i had today, an almost non-existent outpatient session, i finally went for theatre today - TWICE (have been avoiding it pretty much the whole of last week). i got to scrub in for real today and assist in the surgery! to me, it's one of the important milestones as a medical student.. although it's really just holding the retractor, passing the instruments, helping with suture and stapling. it's so insignificant, but it's like receiving a badge of honour! it's the same kinda feeling when i learned how to take my first history from dr lim, or drew my first injection (nurses' job also happy) before i entered medical school. or learning how to use my stethoscope for the very first time in IMU. not goofing around. you get what i mean? :) maybe i'll take back what i said about surgery. hee.. i might consider it after all :D

ok enough abt myself, even as i was in theatre.. all the poking and prodding around the patient's abdomen, made me think.. hmm, God is not only an amazingly creative artist, he sure ensured we were made to last. geez, the way the surgeons handled the insides.. it's like it's g-shock or something! can't imagine if the op was done with the patient conscious -_-" and it also reminded me.. God is like a surgeon, he wants to remove all our 'unwanted' stuffs.. may require some poking and prodding.. may be uncomfortable, but in the end.. the outcome is - GOOD. sometimes, even after the "op", there might be complications that will come back to bug us, but with God the surgeon in control, His aim is to get you discharged healthy! (surgeons LOVE to plan for discharges. that and having super early and super fast ward rounds, and oh yeah, RESECT everything they can) and when you're discharge HEALTHY, what do you feel? HAPPY! so when you're happy.. what you want to do? TELL people about how GREAT your surgeon is for solving your problem. So likewise.. God wants to work in US, so that we can GO and TELL other people how HE has helped us..

ahh, gonna do my research now. hopefully i won't get fried (by *fist-to-heart*) tomorrow..

We're TWO!

Happy Anniversary to US (Me & Chris laa..)
as we celebrate 2 years of life together!

and counting :)

Really thank God for bringing us together.. This too, is undeserved favour.. God giving the best to me, the imperfect. Love you Jesus. Love you baby.

And I pray that You'll continue to guide us and use us to touch lives for Your namesake.

What I've always wanted! It was indeed a surprise dear.. Thank You!! I actually cried while the slideshow was playing.. (honestly, I didn't know iPOD could play slideshows. so noob right!)




And I know that God has placed special, whacky people like these in my life for a reason. Thanks for being so sweet guys :) You made our special day even more special! The call came unexpectedly, what more the card!!

It's a joy when relationships are inclusive, not exclusive. Just the way God meant it to be.. How we wanted it to be, from the very beginning.

And Thank You Lord for reminding me that I only need ONE reason to live, and that is YOU! We have only You to thank for keeping us together, we may fail, we may disappoint each other, but Your love keeps us going.

By this we know love, because He laid down His life for us.
1 John 3:16

Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love NEVER fails.
1 Cor 13:7-8

SITE UNDER CONSTRUCTION

still need to attend to the nitty-gritty details :) pls feel free to give comments though!

S.C.R.U.B.S

we scrubbed (hmm, did i spell it right?) in today.. being our first time and all, we were excited and gungho abt it! like little kids eager to start school.. haha! well, all the glamour of being a surgeon, with gowns, gloves, scrubbing in and all proved to be a tiring task -_-" a very meticulous one at that. u have to scrub each hand 30 sec, each arm 30 sec (EACH!) and do it again! meaning each time you're involved in an operation, you have to stand over the sink and wash your hands for 5 mins, at least! and you have to keep your hands up, elbows down at all times! so that the "contaminated" water doesn't get below your wrist.. now my arms ache all over ): so lousy right, don't think i'll ever be a surgeon unless God says otherwise..

and the surgical ward is an amazing ward! we had 23 patients today, and we finished ward rounds in 1 hour! 730-830 am! the ward round finishes at the time i usually arrive when we were at medical unit!! geeZ~ see how much u achieve when u wake up early?! haha.. but it all happened in a jiffy that i was too blur to understand what was going on, like a hurricane just passed me by.

tmr's consultant ward rounds.. we have to wear WHITE COATS! like CSU sessions.. except, over here.. only the 3rd years wear white coats. haha!! well, i don't mind being younger i guess ;) well wish me the best! *fingers crossed* presentation will go alright.. by God's amazing grace!
(:

day 1 - surgery

i'm in surgical home units now! :D which means.. i passed my MHU :D yay! praise the Lord, despite a few hiccups that occurred just before my OSCE which left me completely disoriented. hmm, not my usual kinda reaction but yeah, it was just bad.. thankfully.. by God's grace i passed :D and Prof Ruffin was just so so so nice. His words were so encouraging.. he's like a grandfather! feel so blessed to have so many other people taking care of us too!

so now that i'm in surgery.. upper GI! (famed to be the busiest of the surgical units - 3 pages of patients everyday!) haha.. excited.. and i'm with chelsie! :D good to have a partner.. not so "lonely" and the best part.. she's my bus partner la. no more walking back anymore.. wahaha!! happy-nye.. and our intern is from IMU too! :) only drawback.. ward rounds start @ 730am! sobs.. hafta wake up at 545am!! christine has never woken up that early for a very very long time ady!!!!!! *dear alarm clocks, i'm counting on you*

yesterday was april fools day! but no one really remembered.. until church started. haha.. in paradise, we have this 5 min video/multimedia thingy called 'church news' to keep us updated on events and stuffs. so up comes ps luke on the screen go,

"hey church! how're you going? due to budget cuts, we won't be having anymore announcements on church news. see you next week! bye!!"

all of us were stunned, that was the shortest church news ever..!! and then.. this came on ->

april fool (:

haha.. had a good laugh at that one! well it was also one of the days when God really ministered to me.. it's just good to be reminded again that God cares and He is still in control.. and it's even more real when the feeling is tangible, not just merely a "knowing" kinda thing.. and we had living the life course with aunty chiew har which was great! being a Christian for some years now, to be honest, i have gone for very few bible study classes. and i found them really important and useful, because it strengthens your foundation and your faith! one thing that she said really strucked me as revelationary,

we are made in the image of God. yup i knew that! being human, u like it when u're complimented eh? so since we're made in His image.. that equates it to.. God is indeed please when you give Him all the glory and the praise. that is why we worship Him! wow.. and she goes on further to say, if God has been so so good to you, and has been so gracious to you, don't you want to give Him all the praise? and that also includes our expression of love for Him when we sing and give thanks! so u can't just stand still and mutter, praise the Lord. thank you Jesus, grudgingly? and oh, that music is just too loud, or the song is too slow.. i can't jump around, people will think i'm crazy?! but if u can get excited abt shopping, and football, or tv series or games. so why not God? the one who sacrificed for me & you so that we can live life abundantly?

wow wow.. like King David said, "I will be even more undignified than this" as he danced around :D