almost there, but not yet

5th year. 5th year. 5th year. 5th year. 5th year. 5th year. 5th year.

what a mind blowing thought. can't believe it's been 4.5 years since i stepped into medical school. wow. time flies!!! at the same time, it does seem i've been studying for a long time.. a very long time. for something that i never thought of doing in the first place, i think i've had a pretty good journey so far. i enjoy studying medicine (well, as a whole; can't say the same for O&G but haha yeah..), not the exams! *grins* and for me to come this far, it's all by the grace of God. from my "surprise" 'A' Level results (everyone thought i was going to fail, even I thought i was going to fail), to the day i stepped into IMU (and was so sure i wanted to leave - yes, orientation left THAT much of an impact on me), making lasting friendships in IMU (you know who you are), growing roots in CF (my greatest spiritual growth spurt), to coming to Adelaide with Chris (that was a miracle in itself), to God's providence throughout - money that always came on time, to passing 4th year, and now here i am. 2 more weeks to my O&G exams, and 6 weeks to the BIG BARRIER EXAM. it almost seems surreal how quickly this year has gone by.

why this sudden emo/nostalgic post. over the past week, many people have been asking me, so final year already?? and i have to go through the standard answer of, this is my final exam year, but i have a whole year of pre-internship before i graduate, and have the DR title in front of me. or some even asking what do i plan to do? i have many plans! some pretty ambitious ones too. but i guess before i start daydreaming about how my name tag will look - Dr Chow, i really should concentrate on how i can pass 5th year. sometimes it's scary. sometimes i feel a bit worried (ok A LOT)- looking at how hard everyone around me is studying. sometimes i scream to myself (in my head), "christine chow en li! can you please be a bit more hardworking??!!" other times, just numb and oblivious and don't really wanna care anymore. sometimes i get responses like "aiyahh.. you so smart, don't worry la" but the truth is, for every exam i pass, for every time i am relaxed and at peace before exams, it's solely because of God's grace. and when i do go off the rails, and become the worrywart that i truly am, God just reminds me of how he brought me through it all. worrying is not going to do any good eh?

so the reason for this post is, i am getting a bit worried now. but philippians 4:6-7 (The Message) says,

"Don't fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God's wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It's wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life."

wow, i love this version of the verse. and for all those having exams out there. this is for you too! :)