the last day of 2006

2006. ahh.. 3 words to sum it all, WHAT A YEAR! (actually i have 4 weeks of CNS notes waiting for me to conquer, by today! but i can't help but blog).

first of all, for so many things to happen on the last week of the year, it's scary! the rain, the floods, the earthquake, saddam's execution (i know, huh?!!), wars and rumours of war. what's more scary is, (i speak for myself too) some people actually said that i can say what i want, when i want, it's my mouth, why do u care? all that most of us are worried about is: will i pass my exams? why isn't the internet working? and not care about the situation that surrounds us. like a slap on my face, at that.. to "preach" that we have to CARE, God has called us into missions, it's not about us! And all I care about is the internal carotids & vertebral arteries.

God speaks. through the bible.. i didn't heed.. finally picked up Jesus MD and wham! God speaks much too clearly. a good physician SCRUBS himself clean. and God i'm scrubing myself now. the dirt must've been sooooo thick that i was numb to the things around me and can only feel myself. and SCRUB! to say sorry for stuffs that i've kept deep deep within me. and SCRUB! for the envy.. SCRUB! for being so selfish.. SCRUB SCRUB SCRUB! for the times i think that i'm not loved! speaking of which, i must share this. u know, how it is when u're in a big church, not everyone knows everyone, u might even walk into the hall not knowing anyone, with no one to sit with, and u feel like, hmm, do i belong here? n u just push it away, c'mon stop being such a wimp! sit down.. but haha, EACH TIME i have these thoughts.. God seems to know how to remind me i'm not alone, i'm not forgotten. today was one of those days..

31/12/2006
9.56am
I walk into the ballroom. greeted by warm ushers.. aunty kah wai still remembers my name! *touched* wishes of happy new year fills the air. walk down the aisle. hmm, any familiar faces? no? ok just sit where i used to. my friend shld be coming soon.

9.58am
no sign of her. nvm.. suddenly someone comes up to me, hey don't sit alone la.. (was quite embarassed at that) then only to find out that. haha, he's sitting alone too. *touched* so oh well.. i guess i'm not THAT pathetic.

9.59am
aunty linda comes.. CHRISTINE! how are you...... when are u gonna start dancing again? miss u in the team. *touched* i don't think i'll be able to cos i'll be leaving for adelaide in 2 weeks time! small talk small talk..

10.01am (svc hasn't started! i did not disrupt the svc..)
turns behind.. HI!!! and there was this lady whose daughter i "saved". haha.. now THAT is another incident.. one day, some mths ago. i felt the same kind of loneliness and God used another method to remind me i was not by getting me involved. a girl fainted and erm, well, being a medical student i was called (although i know nuts!) to cut the long story short, she recovered and so i saw her & her mom today. so aunty was like. HEY! u're the one who helped my daughter. *touched*

11.10am (during svc ps asked us to go arnd and greet and hug each other)
so i shook hands with this uncle, erm, which i don't really know. but he said: hey, haven't seen u dancing for quite some time.. *mouth wide opened* (u noticed?!) hee. yeah, cos my final semester has been quite busy.. small talk small talk.. *touched*

12.10am (prayer of blessings)
ps talks of how the year has been, how it started, and how as it comes to a close, at the threshold of the new year, how God has a great beginning for us. 2 things really strucked me:

1) Let us arise and build. (that's my church's theme)
it has been a year of building, of really digging out the gravels, of flattening the land, of piling, and making a strong foundation. argh, it hurts. it does! what ps says it's right. God is building. and i was surprised (pleasantly?) that i wasn't alone, it was indeed a phase that God is putting Metro through. *touched* i AM a part of this body. some time ago, someone said something about serving in CF & in church, how u shld be attached to the local church, where your spiritual family is. it got me thinking a bit. about not serving and yet can i run in the same vision as the church? it was hard no doubt. explains all that "lonely" feelings. but yeah, God has answered my question after all this while. as long as i've been faithfully attached, i AM a part of it. it's not about the activities i have, or the people that i mix with.. my commitment is to God. and all my brothers and sisters are my spiritual family.

2) God is a God of closure. hmm?
don't look bck, and revel in your past accomplishments, or mourn about how things have gone wrong. Isaiah 43:18-19, 25

Do not remember the former things, nor consider the things of old, Behold I will do a new thing, now it shall sprout; shall you not know it? I will even make a way in the wilderness, rivers in the desert.

I am He who blots out your sins for My own sake, and will remember them no more.

wow. powerful, not that God is forgetful but He chooses to remember it no more. so don't u think we too should start learning how to forgive and let go? yep, that's what i'm gonna do, no more being a coward Christine Chow. AND don't limit God based on what He has done before. God is creative eh? He has His own style, NEW ones!

2006 has moulded me. 2007 is gonna be a great year!

how has your year been? share it.. ;)

before i end, i'd like to say a prayer for everyone:
Dear Jesus, I thank you for your grace! we're totally not deserving of it. but yet, u still draw near. u still love us. I just want to commit every single person who reads this, my loved ones, family and friends, that even as they bring their chapter of 2006 to a close they will look back, only to thank You for all that You've done. and look forward to the greater things you have in store for them. I commit them into Your loving hands, u protect, u bless, u favour their every step, In Your name i Pray, AMEN!

BLESSED 2007!!!!